Awesomo
Jul 22nd, 2006, 02:11 PM
Well, literature you say, well let me bring you to a little something called the Bible.
Genesis Chapter One
1.In the beginning, God made a model out of LEGOS (legendary elemental giant objects).
2. The first model was blue, but didn't have any cool details on it, so he looked over the Water model.
3. God turned the light on next to the model and saw that it was better than before.
4. God then saw it good, and separrated the on switch from the off switch.
5. He called it day when it was on and night when it was off, thus creating the first kilowatt hour for his models.
6. God had an idea to make some of the blue, brown and green, so he said to the water "YOU FREAKIN' DRY UP, NOW!", and the water receeded and there was brown and green legos.
7.God shouted and the water receeded and there was brown and green legos.
8. God then said, "Hey, this could make a great place to live!" and called the brown and green legos, heaven, and turned the lights off, for a second day.
9. God said once again to the water, "KEEP GOING!" and the water receeded even more, and God placed more legos to create what he called land.
10. God changed his mind and called the dry land, Earth, and called the other part of the model, Sea.
11. The model began to create life, and started growing grass, trees, and seeds to grow more, God said, "Woh!"
12. God looked at it again and said, "How cool, I'll keep it."
13. God turned the lights off and made the third day.
14. God turned the lights back on and wanted to get a tan, but saw that the light made wasn't good enough, so he made brighter lights for day and night.
15. God looked and said, "I'll keep it, but I still won't get a tan."
16. God then sparked with brilliance, created an EVEN BRIGHTER LIGHT, for day and night, God also made Connect the Dot drawings in the sky.
17. God made the light for the new on switch to come from heaven, so he could always get a tan.
18. The lights of the day and night amazed God, He said, "THIS IS GREAT!"
19. God checked to see if lights still worked and flicked them on and off, creating the fourth day.
20. God then said, "According to this model book, I need these things called...birds, and... fish." So God put the pieces together and created winged creatures of the sky. God then created fish, but put them on the ground first, he laughed when he saw how the fish flopped, but realized his mistake and nudged them into the blue legos that he called the Sea.
21 God saw really big whales and really small chickens, and thought of pairing the two, but saw that it was good anyway.
22. Then God added parts that let creatures make more of their own kind themselves, God was lazy today.
23. God turned the lights off and called it, the fifth day.
24. God said, "Now what to do with the empty Earth." God thought on this and said, "I know, cows, snakes, and rhinos are cool."
25. The model heard this and created the beasts of the earth, and God let out another, "WOH!!"
26. God then said, "I know, the only thing more awesome than more me, so let me make a copy of me in my image, but with only some of the power, enough to make models like me and claim the fish, beasts, and birds."
27. So God looked in the mirror and said "So sweet!, lets do this." So God created man in the image of himself, but then God got angry with man and kicked him in the groin, this sent the man's testacles up to his chest, and they swelled, God said, "Oops", and created another man, and with a new name and a few changes to the first version, God created woman. God got the name from the sound made when it got kicked.
28. God was lazy again and made it so that the two could populate the world since God only made two.
29. God said, "Hey! you two, you can have the trees and all if you want."
30. God then added, "Oh, and by the way, you can have the fish, beasts, and birds too, you should see it when one of the fish gets caught on the land."
31. God like what he saw that day and turned the lights off once again, creating the sixth day.
If you go further in this mystical book, you get something called the Ten Commandments.
1. I am God, I am awesome, DON'T DOUBT ME!!!
2. Nothing else is awesome, Don't trust anyone else who says this, or else
3. mention of my name without meaning is looked down upon
4. Remember my Sabbath, since I was resting that day, you have to work, praise my sleep
5. Don't mess with those whose crotches created you (mother and father)
6. Don't kill stuff, I made it
7. Don't commit adultry, this means your going to hell if you have anything more than a wet dream.
8. Don't steal stuff, especially things I made (EVERYTHING FOOL!)
9. You can lie_____________________________________________I'M LIEING
10. If you don't own it, don't even think about it, unless your up for trade, then haggle until you get it for the least you can get, then brag that you just found your awesome new possession, BRAND NEW, in a ditch.
Don't do drugs.
I hope you got a chuckle from reading it as I did writing it.
Genesis Chapter One
1.In the beginning, God made a model out of LEGOS (legendary elemental giant objects).
2. The first model was blue, but didn't have any cool details on it, so he looked over the Water model.
3. God turned the light on next to the model and saw that it was better than before.
4. God then saw it good, and separrated the on switch from the off switch.
5. He called it day when it was on and night when it was off, thus creating the first kilowatt hour for his models.
6. God had an idea to make some of the blue, brown and green, so he said to the water "YOU FREAKIN' DRY UP, NOW!", and the water receeded and there was brown and green legos.
7.God shouted and the water receeded and there was brown and green legos.
8. God then said, "Hey, this could make a great place to live!" and called the brown and green legos, heaven, and turned the lights off, for a second day.
9. God said once again to the water, "KEEP GOING!" and the water receeded even more, and God placed more legos to create what he called land.
10. God changed his mind and called the dry land, Earth, and called the other part of the model, Sea.
11. The model began to create life, and started growing grass, trees, and seeds to grow more, God said, "Woh!"
12. God looked at it again and said, "How cool, I'll keep it."
13. God turned the lights off and made the third day.
14. God turned the lights back on and wanted to get a tan, but saw that the light made wasn't good enough, so he made brighter lights for day and night.
15. God looked and said, "I'll keep it, but I still won't get a tan."
16. God then sparked with brilliance, created an EVEN BRIGHTER LIGHT, for day and night, God also made Connect the Dot drawings in the sky.
17. God made the light for the new on switch to come from heaven, so he could always get a tan.
18. The lights of the day and night amazed God, He said, "THIS IS GREAT!"
19. God checked to see if lights still worked and flicked them on and off, creating the fourth day.
20. God then said, "According to this model book, I need these things called...birds, and... fish." So God put the pieces together and created winged creatures of the sky. God then created fish, but put them on the ground first, he laughed when he saw how the fish flopped, but realized his mistake and nudged them into the blue legos that he called the Sea.
21 God saw really big whales and really small chickens, and thought of pairing the two, but saw that it was good anyway.
22. Then God added parts that let creatures make more of their own kind themselves, God was lazy today.
23. God turned the lights off and called it, the fifth day.
24. God said, "Now what to do with the empty Earth." God thought on this and said, "I know, cows, snakes, and rhinos are cool."
25. The model heard this and created the beasts of the earth, and God let out another, "WOH!!"
26. God then said, "I know, the only thing more awesome than more me, so let me make a copy of me in my image, but with only some of the power, enough to make models like me and claim the fish, beasts, and birds."
27. So God looked in the mirror and said "So sweet!, lets do this." So God created man in the image of himself, but then God got angry with man and kicked him in the groin, this sent the man's testacles up to his chest, and they swelled, God said, "Oops", and created another man, and with a new name and a few changes to the first version, God created woman. God got the name from the sound made when it got kicked.
28. God was lazy again and made it so that the two could populate the world since God only made two.
29. God said, "Hey! you two, you can have the trees and all if you want."
30. God then added, "Oh, and by the way, you can have the fish, beasts, and birds too, you should see it when one of the fish gets caught on the land."
31. God like what he saw that day and turned the lights off once again, creating the sixth day.
If you go further in this mystical book, you get something called the Ten Commandments.
1. I am God, I am awesome, DON'T DOUBT ME!!!
2. Nothing else is awesome, Don't trust anyone else who says this, or else
3. mention of my name without meaning is looked down upon
4. Remember my Sabbath, since I was resting that day, you have to work, praise my sleep
5. Don't mess with those whose crotches created you (mother and father)
6. Don't kill stuff, I made it
7. Don't commit adultry, this means your going to hell if you have anything more than a wet dream.
8. Don't steal stuff, especially things I made (EVERYTHING FOOL!)
9. You can lie_____________________________________________I'M LIEING
10. If you don't own it, don't even think about it, unless your up for trade, then haggle until you get it for the least you can get, then brag that you just found your awesome new possession, BRAND NEW, in a ditch.
Don't do drugs.
I hope you got a chuckle from reading it as I did writing it.