Poem

[Stephine]

yyyyyeeeeah...since I was practically forced to put one of my poems up...I'm posting this.
I can't remember when I wrote this exactlly but I found it and fixed up a little. Personally, I think it is depressing somewhat so I have no idea why I chose to post this one XD


Never thought I’d see this day,
Never thought I’d feel this way,
You’re a stranger to me now
I wish I knew how it could be
When we were once so open and free
You were like my brother yet so much more
I wish I could have seen what I see now before
I did not know and it’s too late
My friend, lover once, is now unknown
What hurts most is now I know
A challenge life has sent,
And another moment with you not spent
I hope for a day that may never come
I miss you..
Why did you have to go?

so there's one of my older poems. Who knows maybe I'll put up a recent one sometime.

[Darksage]

Not bad. It seems to turn from poetry to prose in the middle and then reverts back. The line "I wish I could have seen what I see now before" really seems out of place because of it's length. Poetry is the best words in their best order, so maybe different words in a different order could cut it down and make it flow more. I would separate the last line from the poem and sort of give it its own stanza to emphasize it. And I like the rhyme scheme.

[L]

Mmm... I liked it, more in a mellow mood today.

[Ereos]

yea me too tho i tot the last line seemed abit wierd tho.... kinda outta sync with the whole thing